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We've been close companions for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered many hardships, which I admire. However, she has been repeatedly taken by surprise by people. Her partner walked away, and it was a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances drifted away then, as they were focused solely on him. She was stunned by her. She made increased attention toward our bond, likely realised more clearly what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many of her friends vanished leaving her sure why. The company she worked for became hostile, although she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending time together, however, I feel my position between us is as the audience. I start discussion points but she shifts the talk toward things she cares about. Regarding political views, she holds unyielding views. I try to recommend double-checking information and different perspectives.

She's been planning a trip to a country I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in previously. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was met with resistance. She really just desired me to confirm her decisions. I have come back from 30 days in that place and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the impact of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it with a view to a solution demands strength and readiness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one requires explaining what typically happens in your conversations. It should be based on facts and basically what a recording device would replay. The second involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute on this point. Emotions belong to you, after all. The third step involves requesting how you are both can shift the pattern between you."

Consider your friend has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to hear that. A helpful technique is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to not say anything for a set time."

This can be impactful to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore all you say, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they have a version regarding their experiences they won't abandon as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they trust. It's tough as there is no easy route with these people, just dead ends. However, she might initially present this way and then think on your words. And even if you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you peace from having been open and direct.