The One Adjustment That Worked: How I Conquered After-Work Stress Through an Surprising Discovery in the Loft

I often feel as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Typically, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, several months back, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son in the attic. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. My inability to remember anything meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breath calmed, I was focused, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I was overjoyed. I had managed to play music.

Today, after some months, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and how it clears my mind while playing.

I learned that few kids play the recorder today, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I escape into my own realm. Afterward, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, yet a therapist friend informed me I was not only lowering my stress levels, and boosting mental skills, such as memory and auditory processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.